What a blessing to have Abbyloves open her home up to me last night! I was able to pull an (almost) all-nighter, fellowship with her, get fed, get clothed, and had the opportunity to be quieted from a change in scenery. I've been spending so much on so many different study places so it was such a relief to be able yo study so near my work.
Something I've been thinking about is how God uses me in my brokenness to minister to others. It's when I think that I have it all together that I've been the most fruitless in life. I was grateful to have God change my perspective in that way a few days ago. I realized that I've never taken the time to thank God for the brokenness. This current phase I'm in has reaped so many blessings and lessons of wisdom. Hence, instead of growing embittered, I'm learning to love and even appreciate the people who hurt me most. I'm grateful to have met them even for such a small sliver of time, and can now walk away with an attitude free of bitterness. Not gonna lie, I still feel weary sometimes, and then all the millions of questions arise all over again..leaving me feeling confused and rejected all at once. It's then that I immediately take my thoughts captive to Christ. Otherwise, i'll kill myself with overthinking haha! Another lesson I've been learning is that right now, my job is not to understand. I don't need answers to move on, and I don't need to know the path before I begin to trust the Lord. Honestly, I am just SO thankful that God's been so patient with me through all these tears and has begun to genuinely renew my heart. I can honestly say that "I had a good day." It's been a while, but it feels good to have a good day. And it feels good to let go.
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