1. why?
2. how?
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Pain is imperceptible at times: it's a sunny day with an outline of a cloud, a subtle afterthought you shrug off... a lie you didn't realize you chose to believe..
..but when it comes, there's no mistaking it. It's the full on thunderstorm, it's a thousand needles of stabbing shock, it is one heaving breath trying to catch the next. ..so today, right now, I'm asking, that You help me to stop volunteering for it. Right now, I'm praying that you'd help me to see things as they really are, instead of what ought them to be, because truthfully, the latter is..just. killing. me.
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