"I wait for your salvation, O Lord."

My heart is humbled upon the finishing of Genesis today. It is beautiful how God moves & works. No matter how many times we have strayed, His grace continually moves in like a river; filling and overwhelming every crevice of our heart. I so desire to know of this wholeness. I so desire to declare, "Whom have I in heaven but You? My heart & my flesh may fail, but you are the strength of my life & my portion forever." What a beautiful legacy to leave for future generations. With the death of precious loved ones in August, I am convicted to lead my days with purpose...

as of late, i ponder upon my situation and feel that I could easily say, "I have suffered much loss." My heart aches wildly with all that's changed and removed from the life that I once knew. What I would give to have her back again. In addition, there are other things that I feel empty & forlorn without. But with all my soul, I do know that these "losses" are the things that have led me to stand in awe of who God is.  That he is a jealous God. I used to think that this was so selfish of God. Placing myself in the position of someone in love though, and I understand. Who wouldn't want their loved one all to theirselves? Anyone would. Our God is much greater than just a loved one, however. He is King of all. 

Sometimes when it hurts beyond I can bear, I desire nothing more than to be in heaven with my Lord. But I remember that He'd rather me be chiseled, formed, and useable and guide me here on earth rather than be a solid, immoveable..useless lump of clay. So use, me Lord Jesus. For this is all I desire. Now & forevermore.